Scapegoat is officially available for theft and purchase!
To celebrate this auspicious occasion, I am doing four things, two of which I will announce publicly.
First, The EVENT. Tomorrow, Wednesday the 22nd, 5:00, at The King's English Bookstore. I will be there, with my wife and spawn, to sign any books you want me to sign. Except for any "Rabbit" books by John Updike. Those I will not sully with my unholy scrawl.
Second, The CONTEST. Three contests, really. A contest array.
Bronze Contest: The first person who comes to the event and can verbally identify how I infused Scapegoat with Canadian Pride will receive an origami goat, folded by me, with a secret message inside. You will need to dismember the goat to get the message.*
Silver Contest: The first person to request a piggyback ride from me without fear in their eyes will receive said piggyback ride.
Gold Contest: The person who sends me the most interesting** picture of themselves or a loved one with The Book will receive one personal scapegoat service. What this means is that I will take the blame*** for anything for which you are actually responsible.
*Despite stories to the contrary, wrong answerers will NOT receive a dead goat with a secret message inside. That is just gross.
**"Interestingness" will be judged by a conference of Deans from parallel Earths who have taken to identifying themselves as "The College."
***This does not include things for which I would have to go to jail, pay a fine, or be hunted by a violent cabal. Eligible offenses include, but are not limited to: not doing your homework, not doing your chores, missing a significant other's birthday, eating all the pie, leaving dirty diapers in the living room, starting a fight with the mailman, and Saying The Wrong Thing. Ineligible offenses include, but are not limited to: Causing grievous bodily harm to yourself or others, theft of anything worth more than $2.22, plotting a coup, driving a coupe, forming a junta, manufacturing danger, and lying under oath.
To celebrate this auspicious occasion, I am doing four things, two of which I will announce publicly.
First, The EVENT. Tomorrow, Wednesday the 22nd, 5:00, at The King's English Bookstore. I will be there, with my wife and spawn, to sign any books you want me to sign. Except for any "Rabbit" books by John Updike. Those I will not sully with my unholy scrawl.
Second, The CONTEST. Three contests, really. A contest array.
Bronze Contest: The first person who comes to the event and can verbally identify how I infused Scapegoat with Canadian Pride will receive an origami goat, folded by me, with a secret message inside. You will need to dismember the goat to get the message.*
Silver Contest: The first person to request a piggyback ride from me without fear in their eyes will receive said piggyback ride.
Gold Contest: The person who sends me the most interesting** picture of themselves or a loved one with The Book will receive one personal scapegoat service. What this means is that I will take the blame*** for anything for which you are actually responsible.
*Despite stories to the contrary, wrong answerers will NOT receive a dead goat with a secret message inside. That is just gross.
**"Interestingness" will be judged by a conference of Deans from parallel Earths who have taken to identifying themselves as "The College."
***This does not include things for which I would have to go to jail, pay a fine, or be hunted by a violent cabal. Eligible offenses include, but are not limited to: not doing your homework, not doing your chores, missing a significant other's birthday, eating all the pie, leaving dirty diapers in the living room, starting a fight with the mailman, and Saying The Wrong Thing. Ineligible offenses include, but are not limited to: Causing grievous bodily harm to yourself or others, theft of anything worth more than $2.22, plotting a coup, driving a coupe, forming a junta, manufacturing danger, and lying under oath.
I hope someone takes pictures of the Silver contest.
Posted by: Q | June 21, 2011 at 01:06 PM
Working on my entry for the gold contest. Really wish I was at the EVENT so I could participate in the Silver contest.
Posted by: Enna Isilee | June 22, 2011 at 04:17 PM
Alas, this is the best I could do for now. The goat was too high for me to reach, thus this picture does not contain me. But it does have the book, and a real(ly dead) goat! And doesn't that make him the ultimate scapegoat? ;)
http://i1213.photobucket.com/albums/cc470/SqueakyBooks/Goat.jpg
Posted by: Enna Isilee | June 22, 2011 at 04:39 PM
The Silver contest was glorious, but unfortunately I was labeled (unjustly, I contend) fearful. Also, I feel that I was robbed of the bronze prize.
All-in-all, a wonderful evening.
Posted by: Marcus Aurelius | June 23, 2011 at 09:08 AM
Dean Hale, does your home rupture in coolness between you, Shannon, and all your little Hale-beasts? 'Cause I think it might. Just sayin'.
Posted by: Laurie | June 28, 2011 at 06:46 PM
I will be going to Virginia for a college class soon... Interesting pictures shall ensue.
Congratulations, goat-man!
Posted by: Avery | June 29, 2011 at 01:19 PM
Also, I thought you would appreciate this random page on my school's domain:
http://goat.uchicago.edu/
Posted by: Q | July 14, 2011 at 11:43 PM
Cars and houses are not very cheap and not every person can buy it. Nevertheless, loan are created to support different people in such kind of hard situations.
Posted by: Queen32Golden | August 08, 2011 at 06:15 PM
I am so curious what you wrote in the origami goat?
Greets short let london
Posted by: Adie Andrews | October 06, 2011 at 02:21 AM
It is my practice to recommend an 80/20 to 70/30 range. But, how much time you allocate should consider the types of applications that are developed by your team. While most exploits have their roots in the same mistakes such as unchecked buffers
Posted by: ugg boots best | December 08, 2011 at 06:06 PM
I love your Scapegoat book and so does my son, who's almost two. He'd write to you himself, but maybe for a future book in a few years when he's learned his letters. We got it from the library a week ago and we've read it every day a few times a day since. My son's favourite part is the part about the snot in the tote (great new word for him). He goes around saying "Jim is nasty". He also likes the "eating grass with some sass" part. He finds the word "sass" funny. I wonder why.
I love your wife's books and I knew she was married to a Dean, but it didn't click in that you were that Dean, till I read tonight the bio on the book's jacket, where it said you were married to a Shannon and referenced Rapunzel's Revenge.
Anyway, this is getting off topic, but I love your book and you need to write more of them.
Posted by: Ana-Francisca Haas | January 01, 2013 at 10:29 PM
I second Ana-Francisa Haas's statement. You need to write more books. Quit being so lazy!
Posted by: Elizabeth Craig | July 02, 2013 at 12:11 PM